contributed by Aimee
As Easter approaches I have been thinking about being saved. Easter is not a big deal if you don't need (read: don't think you need) a saviour. If I can handle things myself... Read a few self-help books... Smooth off my own rough edges... then I don't need Good Friday and I don't need Easter.
As a Christian I would never actually think that I don't need a saviour, but my actions betray me. There is something - for me - that is very very hard about needing. Needing to be saved implies a deficit within me. An area where I don't measure up. And I don't like this, not one bit.
But there are two choices here.
Number one: I can ignore the plain fact that I am imperfect and deeply broken and go ahead and try to save myself. This results in ceaseless, futile, frustrating reaches for perfection. Devastation. And then eventually I realize I need to be saved - not by myself, but from myself!
Number two: I can accept the truth and rejoice that I am not left to save myself, but that Jesus has already done the work and offers grace. Not stiffly and begrudgingly as I sometimes do, but with unconditional love, and joy.
I don't really know why this choice is so hard.
Needing - the thing I have so much trouble with - brings me closer to Jesus. Ignorant independence leads me away.
As Nelson said in yesterday's post - God help me choose well.
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THE INCOMPLETE
Lance Odegard
With all of my wrongs all of my wickedness/
The repeated harm I’ve done I put it on the Son/
I enter the light empty my pockets in His sight/
For this is how the crooked are made to stand up right/
This is my glory - that I still need a Saviour/
This is my glory - that I can’t out grow grace/
This is my glory - to know the hunger and the bread/
This is my glory - to feel the incomplete/
With all the lights out and the covers pulled up tight/
My wife beside me sleeps as I stare wide at the night/
Eternity calls, whispers loud inside my chest/
Echoes with the weight of loneliness/
This ache is a burning ember/ this ache is a flashlight/
this ache causes me to remember/ this ache is a homing device/
This long longing stretching out from inside us/
It is the rope we need – hand over hand we trust
The repeated harm I’ve done I put it on the Son/
I enter the light empty my pockets in His sight/
For this is how the crooked are made to stand up right/
This is my glory - that I still need a Saviour/
This is my glory - that I can’t out grow grace/
This is my glory - to know the hunger and the bread/
This is my glory - to feel the incomplete/
With all the lights out and the covers pulled up tight/
My wife beside me sleeps as I stare wide at the night/
Eternity calls, whispers loud inside my chest/
Echoes with the weight of loneliness/
This ache is a burning ember/ this ache is a flashlight/
this ache causes me to remember/ this ache is a homing device/
This long longing stretching out from inside us/
It is the rope we need – hand over hand we trust
Aimee, we must be in sync. I had on some music on in the background when I was making breakfast, and Lance's song that you noted in your post came on, it totally stopped me in my tracks. You aren't alone in struggling with this choice.
ReplyDeleteyou always say it so well Aimee. Thanks for sharing and challenging.
ReplyDelete